Life as it is, now …
Sneaked off from lab slightly earlier than usual today (escaped from my boss’s clutches hahaha!), but waited an hour at the clinic, sigh … wasted that precious resting time. Anyway, at this point of time, not thinking about my project is already a form of rest for me (yes, it is that bad), not to mention that I had spent the whole of CNY in the lab!!
I have not regretted choosing this project, because it really interests me, and even if I do not succeed in the end, I have learnt quite some things about doing research, and also gained yet another experience in taking things in my stride under the rule of a terrible boss. I think these are more valuable than getting an easy project and having beautiful results, or an excellent class of honours. Not to forget that I have met some really wonderful colleagues who have a similar outlook on life as me, so much so that a simple chat with them lifted my spirits during this gloomy CNY.
Latest update on my situation with boss: I have already progressed through a series of emotions - > felt stressed by boss > angry with boss > avoided boss like plague > felt like killing boss > felt numb > and finally enlightenment, haha. I still get rather irritated by him though. I have evaluated and re-evaluated the situation such that I think I now know what he is like - unreasonable, unrealistic, impatient, demanding control freak. Just imagine that you need one year to get experimental results substantial enough to report, yet he would ask you every single day, on your progress, and worse still, jeopardize your research by making funny changes to your plans. There is a good side to him, but a pity these good traits are not applicable when it comes to his working style.
The best way to deal with him is, sadly, to avoid any eye contact or conversation with him. This is because he always gives ideas for your project, yet they are not suggestions, because you don’t really have a choice as to whether you want to agree with him - you HAVE to do what he says. His ideas change faster than the weather, and so far none of them worked, at least for my project. If I have to think of 101 reasons to counter his every idea, wouldn’t it be better to put that time and energy into doing my work instead? After chatting with my colleagues, I found out that I wasn’t the only one facing this problem. Apparently, they too do not agree with most of his unrealistic ideas, so they have to try their best to argue it out with him, and given his "I am always right" attitude, and unrealistic expectations, I wonder if any communication is even possible.
Anyway, I am juggling two projects now, because he didn’t want to let me write on the troubleshooting for my original project, for which I gave my blood and sweat. Anyway, I guess I can’t really write much constructive stuff about it either, because I had been doing things contrary to my opinion, but what he felt was right (and turned out to be wrong). The new project is much simpler, and I told him after CNY that I would focus on that, now that I do not have much time left towards the thesis deadline. I would still continue on my original project, just out of interest, and also not to waste the animal cells. Just when I thought that I could finally concentrate more on one project, he had to come tell me funny things again today. I had donated some of the cells to a colleague who wanted to research on their growth, out of curiosity. And boss actually said, " You should keep asking him (my colleague),"how are your results?", because if he succeeds, that would go to your thesis." I wasn’t shocked by his mentality, but extremely annoyed with him. As usual, I just said "yes" to everything he suggested, so that he would get out of my sight, and when he finally left (i.e., after turning back thrice, with more things to add), I just rolled my eyes. I am convinced that he is desperate for results. If not, then he is too free and doesn’t know what to do with the time he has.
Ok, enough for now. I should not keep dwelling on negative thoughts. Counting down to April!!
