Safe in a Crazy World …

Something happened today which really touched me. It may seem like nothing to others, but to a student who has some interest in research, but not to the extent of being passionate, and hence not really favoured by lecturers with high expectations, it was a really heart-warming moment.

We were supposed to choose and submit 10 choices for our final year project, after which one project would be allocated through balloting (or so they said) and announced after a week or so. We were also advised to meet up with supervisors of projects we are interested in, as some of them would not accept students whom they have not met up with. The ambiguous part was that the coordinator hinted on supervisors having a say in the final allocation as they may be allowed to choose their students, regardless of the ballot. However, after clarifying with the coordinator, limited information could be given to students on this, leaving a cloud of uncertainty hovering above our heads. In this case, we presume that academically and research-inclined students are usually the ones whom most researchers prefer. Those like me who are average but have interest in the projects then seem to be at a disadvantage.

So the story for today goes like this … I had emailed Dr B to meet up for discussion of his projects which I am interested in, but just before I met up with him, there were news that some projects were really popular and have already been "pre-allocated" (i.e., some supervisors might have given their projects to students whom they think are suitable, without going through the balloting), and Dr B’s project was rumoured to be one of them. Even though it was hearsay, I suddenly felt disheartened because such things were really possible in my school. When it comes to choosing projects or signing up for assignment topics, 50% of the choices would often be snapped up by early birds (who are so impossibly early that you would think they camped overnight in school and rushed into general office to sign up the moment the door was opened, hahaha …) such that you might well be left with the not-so-nice topics if you do not hurry. Moreover in the case of my project selection, about 50% of my choices were rumoured to have been pre-allocated, meaning that I no longer stand a chance even if I submitted them under my top 10. Nevertheless, I went to see Dr B, as agreed in my email. The whole process of discussion ended up to be a really nice one, for he made the effort to explain the project details from scratch, something which not all supervisors do. Some professors whom I had met spoke very little during their discussion sessions, merely waiting for my questions, hence I had felt that those were rather "one-way" sessions. In the case of Dr B, he even rummaged through his cabinets for a whole 5 minutes just to get a few pieces of notes to explain background information to me. I wanted to ask him not to bother as I did not wish to take up too much of his time. Friendly as he always was, he joked about his cabinets being ever so messy, and assured me that it was alright as he would find the notes soon. After he got the notes, we discussed a little on the project techniques and when I told him that his projects were interesting, he gave me a reply which surprised me. He said that he was very happy to hear what I said, and it was as though many people failed to see the interesting part of his work.

He went further to tell me about some other projects going on in his lab and that he had a hard time getting grants over here for studies on this particular disease which is not common among Asians, but with high occurrence in Caucasians. I commented that this is a realistic place, and many people would prefer to invest in projects which either concern "trendy" topics, or would benefit the local situation and economy, and he agreed. But he mentioned something very subtle, yet extremely inspiring to me. He said that research should not be categorised/limited by national boundaries. For a moment I felt like I was hearing wise words from Gandolf in "Lord of the Rings", right in front of me, just that he was the Chinese version (I know this is exaggerating, but he really touched me with his words!). I have never heard anything like that in my years of studying Science, and it felt really good to hear something so meaningful and sincere from a lecturer. In the research community rat race, there are researchers who become obssessed with results and publications (sometimes fame), and truly neglected the initial purpose and attitude towards research. Dr B also told me that the purpose of final year projects is to give students a chance to have a feel of research, and results are not more important than the experience, most of all we should have learnt new techniques and the way of research at the end of it. His words gave me consolation that there are still people who research for the sake of goodwill.

At the end of the discussion, I was really curious to know his take on the project allocation. According to him, some students had specifically expressed their wish to take on his project, but he did not give promises as the final allocation should be decided by the project coordinator and not himself. He also said that he welcomes anybody to his lab even after graduation to learn anything that interests them. At least it assured me that he is not the kind who would give under-the-table pre-allocations to students. Given my fair share of encounters with professors who do not like to waste their time on average students (as one can feel from their behaviour), I was really at a loss for words on having met somebody like Dr B. When I thought about it all, it made me feel like crying.

At the end of the day, I no longer dwelled on the impending project allocation disaster. Rather, I felt that I had gained something even more important - I had chatted with a non-judgemental and magnanimous researcher, somebody who genuinely puts his heart into researching for goodwill, and a person who made my day. Most importantly, it gave me encouragement that I shouldn’t feel unworthy of research just because I am an average student.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 31st, 2006 at 10:44 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.